There is a Ringers tradition that no car is permitted to wear a Ring sticker until it has been duly earned by doing a lap.

Which explains, after a fashion, why I was driving 800 miles to do one lap in my recently-purchased road car, an SLK230.

Although my last four cars (MX-5, Porsche 968, Porsche 911 and now Mercedes SLK 230) have been quite different in character, there is no mistaking the common theme: an open-topped sportscar.

Open-top sportscars are great fun to drive 95% of the time, but can be rather less so in driving rain at midnight on the M1 when you have another two hours to go before you're home. Since setting up in business on my own, I was doing rather more of those type of journeys (my new boss is too tight to pay for chauffeur-driven limos home), so I opted this time for the SLK. Press one button, and 25 seconds later you are in a coupé.

Preparation

As this trip was with Darren's www.ringweekends.co.uk, I had the luxury of no real preparation at all: both ferry and hotel bookings were taken care of for me. All I had to do was pack and turn up at Dover at the absurd hour of 8am (whose idea was that?!).

Saturday

When I moved house five years ago, it is no coincidence that I ended up 40 minutes from Stansted and 75 minutes from Dover. I somehow struggled out of bed by 6am, was on the road by 6.30am and despite some fog en-route, was at Dover in time to top-up with petrol at 7.45am.

If a sticker adds 5bhp to a car, Darren's Pug ought to be putting out about 250bhp:

A couple of the party decided to make their own way across Belgium, one because they wanted to put their foot down and the other because they were trailering a Cosworth across and wouldn't be able to keep up. The Cosworth had a subtle paint-job:

It's been a while:

It had been quite some time since I'd driven across Belgium. Perhaps it was still in the honeymoon period of the SLK (I've only had it a few weeks and done a couple of thousand miles), or perhaps it is the fact that flying is such a hassle at present, but it didn't seem too bad.

I was surprised when my Garmin Zumo 550 alerted me to motorway speed cameras in both France and Belgium. I subscribe to the UK camera database, so perhaps they throw in a few key ones in the rest of Europe. I was also surprised to find that I got traffic alerts in both Belgium and Germany. The GTM21 traffic receiver includes a lifetime subscription to the UK Trafficmaster service, but I thought you had to pay for other countries. That said, the Belgian service was worth what I paid for it as it reckoned that a five-mile tailback would add one minute to our journey. (Weirdly, it did show the actual length of the tailback on the map, but it didn't seem to be able to calculate the delay.)

At a pit-stop somewhere in Belgium, the urinals were observant:

The SLK and 911 attracted an audience. I guess you have to make your own entertainment in Belgium.

We were staying at the Burgstube, also run by the Ringhaus team, and also equipped with wifi.

Darren gave me a lift down to TTE to pick up the Golf, then we headed back to the track. They were apparently still clearing up the mess from the VLN, so the track was very late opening and there were massive queues all around.

Thanks to some creativity and some help from Adam, over there in a GT3, I was one of the first few cars out.

Photo: mw-sportfoto.de

Which was just as well as the evening session lasted for exactly one lap. A biker crashed badly at Kallenhard, ending up with a bone sticking through his boot. The track didn't reopen, and I think I was the only one of our group to manage a lap.

I called in at the Forsthaus to pick up my driving shoes and gloves, and to have a quick chat with Frank and Galina. The second Caterham had arrived, and both were off being TUV'd. They were due back on Weds.

I'd brought over a full-face helmet to leave at the Forsthaus ready for future trips so that I'd be all set when the Caterhams were ready.

Just time for a quick drink at the Burgstube and then down to the Pistenklause for dinner.

My dinner & wine was very kindly sponsored by John Handel:

The Scottish contingent decided to share some traditional Scots culture with us::

Which appeared to be contagious:

Jocke had a little present for me ... "I saw this and thought of you":

I have no idea what he's talking about.

Some of the table were talking about a visit to the Cherie Bar. As the men from the News of the World used to say, I made my excuses and left ...

Sunday

I had a premonition that the Ring would be fogbound until 10am, so had a late breakfast and leisurely wander down to the car-park to find that it had only just opened.

I had various passenger-lap requests. I do like taking passengers round, as it prevents over-exhuberence, and it's good to share the fun, but wanted to get a couple of solo laps in first.

The weather was perfect and the track dry, but it was rather crowded.

Photo: mw-sportfoto.de

On the second lap, a biker was down at Galgenkopf. It looked quite nasty, but he was being well taken care of and the site was well-flagged, so I didn't stop.

This resulted in the first long closure.

I had a chat with Jocke and Kaz, then some of the Ringweekends group. I realised I'd left my phone in my room, and of course you don't want to come out of the car-park during a closure because you can't get back in, but Darren lent me his car which was in the dirt car-park across the road.

Phone fetched, it was still closed. Time for little car-park wander. The problem with the 'car-park wander' section of my trip reports is that there isn't really much we haven't seen before. But silver Caterhams are pretty enough to bear repetition:

Very few cars look good in white. I'd previously decided it was only 911s and BMWs that could pull it off, but this doesn't look too bad:

There was a Ford GT in the car-park. I didn't ever see it on the circuit:

I managed some strategic parking, ready for the re-opening:

The track finally reopened, and I managed one lap. Or, rather, most of one. A car had dropped coolant at the Kleiner Karussell and a bike lowsided in front of me. Managed to avoid running him over and ran back to flag - hot work in the sun!

The biker was ok, but there was apparently a multi-bike crash elsewhere, resulting in, guess what, another lengthy closure. I passed the time chatting with Dave and Bob.

When it reopened, I managed one crowded lap before- Guess what?

On that lap, some moron was putting the back of his car in the dirt on virtually every bend, leaving an incredible amount of dirt on the track. I reported him to the marshalls who pulled him over for a chat. I would not be at all surprised if his dirt was the reason for the crash that closed the track.

Sofia was there with a group from the Triumph owners club. Quite a few of them were keen to see what they were letting themselves in for before venturing out, and if I have the names right, this is respectively Shaugn, Steve and Andy:

On Steve's lap, there was a bike down at the exit of Wehrseifen that was being rather enthusiastically flagged at Miss-Hit-Miss.

Another closure, due to a BMW leaping the armco at Brunnchen 2. The story I heard is that he lost the back at the exit, and the kerb launched the car over the armco. No rollcage in the car, but I heard the driver was ok despite a very crushed roof.

Photo: mw-sportfoto.de

Jochen took over the CCar for a couple of laps when the track finally reopened. While he did that, I decided to wash the SLK ready for its one slow lap to earn its Ring sticker. Mike from the Ringweekends group gave me a lift back to the Burgstube to collect the car, then followed me out to the car-wash.

I wanted to use the jetwash rather than put it through the machine. Of course, being Germany and a Sunday, the jetwash was verboten. German machines are kinder than UK ones, and the car was very dirty, so I decided to bite the bullet.

Back to the car-park, and it was, guess what?

When it reopened, I parked the SLK ready for its lap at the end of the day:

I chatted with Sofia's group. They had commandeered part of the grass for their gear.

Bob's Elise had a maximum weight label for what Lotus laughingly call the luggage compartment:

We decided that in the interest of power-to-weight ratio, he should impose a similar limit on passengers.

He had rather cruelly photographed the cockpit of a Ferrari that had been circulating very slowly, showing the five-position traction-control system set firmly on 'wuss':

An AMG with a brushed aluminium finish arrived. I assumed it was a paint-job or skin, but was told it was real:

The track was closed for a very long time. The police arrived with some speed and went straight out.

Stories started coming in about a long fluid spill. A very long one. Someone was in the office when the radio call came in from the safety car out to investigate, and it said an 8km long spill.

An Audi came in on the back of a truck, but no sign of fluid leaks.

Then a 911 arrived in similar style:

This one was leaking what appeared to be the last remains of coolant:

A biker who'd gone down on it was in the office. Apparently the Porsche driver was claiming he was unaware of any problem earlier in his lap, and the police asked for witnesses. Dale had photos of the driver at Wehrseifen with fluid spraying out and the driver going slowly looking intently in his mirrors, and Jocke had come very close to crashing on it at Hatzenbach. That seemed pretty conclusive. You can read Jocke's account here and see Dale's photos here.

With some many photographers around the Ring these days, it amazes me that anyone thinks they can get away with driving on from a fluid leak or crash. I wouldn't like to think what sort of bill that particular driver will face.

It was nearly 6pm, and with such a long spill after such a crashy day, I suspected the marshalls might just decide to call it a day and send us all home, but no announcement was made. Finally, at 7pm, the track reopened.

I wanted to do my SLK lap as the very last car out, so jumped in with Dave beforehand:

The stories were not exaggerated. The coolant spill began at Hatzenbach 1. Dave tested the grip, found it ok, and was not hanging around. :-)

I then hopped out so I didn't miss my slot. I watched all the cars going out for the last couple of laps, hoping none of them would crash before 7.20pm.

Bob decided to join me for the SLK lap. I warned him that I really didn't want to risk any untoward incidents, so it was going to be a 'Hello trees, hello birds' lap.

At 7.15pm, I decided not to take any chances of an early closure, and went through the barriers then pulled over so I could be the last car round. I waited for the barrier lights to go on, and then pulled away.

It was an extremely sedate lap, of the type I used to do as my final lap of the weekend in the MX-5:

Photo: Bob van Melzen

I'd forgotten how nice it was to just cruise around enjoying the scenery. Amazingly, despite our very low speed, we caught a couple of cars, but it was a point of principle to be the last car out, so I waved thanks for their indicator invitations to pass and stayed behind them.

Louise was waiting at Brunnchen 2 to take a trackside shot:

Photo: Louise

And then we were back onto Dottinger-Hohe and the SLK was safely round, having earned its Ring sticker:

Photo: Bob van Melzen

I'd chosen a suitably subtle one:

The sloping rear light cluster of the SLK is perfectly designed for proper alignment of the sticker.

When a non-petrolhead friend asked me about my plans for the weekend, I'd tried to explain the concept. "So you're driving 800 miles so you can put a sticker on your car?" she'd asked, with an incredulous look on her face. You know, non-Ringers can almost make that sort of thing sound unreasonable.

Nige & Louise's son confirmed that the Brunnchen photo was safely taken, and I could see it if I waited in the car-park.

Might as well pass the time with a quick photo of that weekend's members of the Ringers open-top car club:

Louise arrived with the photos - once she's processed them, you'll find the rest of her shots here.

Bob kindly drove the Golf back to the Burgstube for me, then Darren followed me down to TTE to give me a lift back after returning it.

Then Darren acted as taxi-driver again for dinner:

Dinner was kindly sponsored by Ralph Whitehead and wine by Craig Brack.

Dale gave me a lift back in his MX-5, and that was the weekend.

Monday

The official departure time was 8am, so I decided I would make my own way home at a more civilised hour. I had a leisurely breakfast and set off just after 10am, taking the Prum route.

A little-known piece of German law is that if you have recently bought a car and find yourself on a nice straight stretch of derestricted autobahn, you are legally obliged to obtain empirical data on the v-max of your vehicle.

My first test-run only saw 139mph. The drag was too great to see anything higher, so I was forced to take drastic action. Those of a nervous disposition may like to avert their gaze before I confess. I was forced to - well, there is no polite way to put this - put up the roof!

This done, I got an extra 10mph:

The car reaches 125mph with some alactrity, then acceleration gradually tails off. By 140mph, it is only creeping up. I was approaching traffic when it reached 149mph (155mph showing on the speedo) so had to brake, but the claimed top speed of 153mph seems feasible given a sufficiently long straight. It was reassuring that the car felt totally stable when maxed out.

Darren & gang had taken the E40 while I opted for the E42, which may explain why I set off two hours later than them and caught the same ferry.

Actually, that is slightly unfair as the ferry they were on was officially full by the time I got there, but I asked P&O if they could help me out and get me onto it anyway. They asked me to wait until the ferry was completely loaded and then said they'd see if they could squeeze me in. They just managed it:

And thence home. Despite the closures, it was still an excellent weekend. Some fun driving (albeit less than an ideal amount), the usual excellent socialising and two SLK missions accomplished: Ring sticker and max speed testing.