I know three successive weekends is a bit outrageous (not to mention expensive), but after finally getting a sorted DRT, I was keen to make the most of her.

Friday

I'm spoiled now, with my chauffeur pickup from Köln-Bonn, but this weekend my chauffeur was taking the weekend off to sun herself in Spain with her parents and sister. I'm also used to my clothes, toiletries and the chargers for our his-and-her gadgets all being delivered for me, so it was a bit of a culture-shock having to pack again! Still, I always travel light, so everything fitted comfortably into my laptop bag.

Birgit's journey was not going well. She had taken the Friday off to catch a 6am flight, so had to leave at 3.30am for a 5am check-in. When she got there at 5am, she was told her flight was delayed ... until 3pm!!!

Fortunately her lounge membership made it bearable. I think she waited until about 10am before making a start on the champagne ...

However, I really don't think she's safe to be let out on her own. When she went spectating, she almost managed to get run over by an Evo. This time, supposedly spending the weekend on a sun-lounger, she managed to take this pic:

My own flight was also delayed, though fortunately only by around an hour. This did, however, create a little entertainment. The lounge I have access to is in satellite 1 and my flight goes from satellite 2. Stopping off at satellite 1 and then going on later to satellite 2 is no problem - technically, you are supposed to have a staff escort as you go back down in the lift to the connecting train level, but I think this is just to make sure no-one gets lost, so they just leave me to it.

However, the lounge couldn't get through to Aviance to check that my flight was on time, so I only learned of the delay when arriving at the gate. Rather than hang around there, I thought I'd return to the lounge in satellite 1. You can't get back on the shuttle train, because then it becomes an Arrivals train, so I went to find out if there was any other way of doing it.

A helpful member of staff said yes, no problem, you can be ferried back. I assumed this just meant escorted on the train to arrivals and back, but no, this meant a car ride around the taxiways. This was quite interesting, wending its way around the apron, but very slow, so by the time I eventually got back to the lounge I only had 15 mins before I'd need to get the shuttle back again. Ah well, it helped pass the time.

The short gap between the two satellites that takes a fair while to traverse by car

The flight delays turned out to be due to stormy weather over much of Germany. Oh good. It did, at least, mean a bit of a roller-coaster ride on the way in.

Arriving at the car rental hall with my Hertz reservation number in hand, I get there to find a very empty Hertz desk. No problem, there will be a sign somewhere with a number to call. Er, no. So I wander over to one of the other desks - can they tell me how to contact a Hertz rep? There is a number at the desk, they tell me. I say that I must be blind as I can't see one, and they look at me like I'm an idiot and go over to the desk with me. 'Oh, the sign is not here.' I call the 24H central reservations number. No reply. Great. I shall remember not to hire a car from Hertz again.

Europcar has nothing left, but Avis does. So I am soon the proud temporary owner of something small and grey. <Peers at it> A Seat Ibiza 1.3, apparently. I don't know whether this is a standard gift from Avis, or whether they just heard I was on my own this weekend:

Owning two somewhat elderly cars, I'm always impressed by the standard equipment on even the most cheapo new one. The car felt like it was made of tin-foil, but had aircon, an interior light that stayed lit until you inserted the ignition key and it locked the doors at about 10kph.

I did my quick review of the controls and dials. I guess it's hard for designers to think of new things to do each year, but having a fuel-gauge that reads the wrong way around as a point of differentiation seems a little desperate!

The driving experience is, er, well, there isn't one. No power, of course, but also zero road feel. I mean, absolutely zero. The roads were very wet, but even on a tight slip-road you didn't have the faintest glimmer of feedback from the road.

I'm also not used to silent engines. Cruising at 140kph, you would think the engine had quit were in not for the fact that the car kept moving.

Arriving at my B&B, I find I have my old room - the one I usually had when I first started coming here on my own. Felt nostalgic and a little odd.

Saturday

The weather had not improved by morning. The view out the window was heavy rain and soaked roads. I turned over and went back to sleep.

Jochen was supposed to be leading a C-Car bashing team on the Friday, so I texted him to see whether there was any bashing left to do. (I had previously advised that I could hit things or act as a mobile tool holder as my contribution to the repairs.) He replied saying that the parts had failed to arrive. I suggested gathering together any Ringers we could find and heading to the kart track.

The rain gave me a chance to transfer across the few pics and start this write-up, at which point I discovered that the screen on my Vaio - repaired by Sony a few months ago after it cracked - had cracked again:

Sony considered it accidental damage last time, and thus chargeable, but I have been paranoid ever since so treated it with great care. I shall see what Sony has to say. I shall certainly be suggested that it be covered under the (extended) warranty.

While waiting to hear back from Jochen about karting, I instead got a text from him to say that he had witnessed a big accident and was very shocked. When I got there, he said he had let an M3 and CSL past at Hatzenbach 2, and then as he followed them down to Quiddlebacher-Hohe, the M3 lost the back as the car turned into the right kink over the brow, corrected, lost the back the other side and the car then hit the armco on the left-hand side of the track at very high speed, and then rolled several times, ending up upside-down on the bank on the far side of the now-flattened armco.

Jochen immediately called the office, told them the crash was serious, that a doctor was needed. He could see fluids spilling out, so also called the fire service. His prompt action ensured that the driver got fast medical attention.

I later learned that I know the brother of the driver, but won't post any names unless and until I know that's ok. I was at least able to pass on the news from Jochen that they were not being silly, and I've since put them in touch via email.

I also later saw photos of the car. It was quite unbelieveable, and the occupants were incredibly lucky to have survived. The armco basically sliced into the top of the car, cutting through both the roof and the dashboard! When I saw the photos, I assumed the fire service had cut the roof to get the driver out, but no, that was done by the armco. =:-O

I went to fetch the 944 from Ring Racing while the track was closed. I now ask Uwe to check the brakes after every weekend, and again this had been done. 'Perfect - bad news for us!'.

The shock of not having to wait while this was done was compounded by the fact that the GCar was sitting in the workshop. Although this does not amount to categorical proof that it is actually being worked on, it was certainly an encouraging sign.

As the track was still closed when I returned, I went for a coffee with Kurt and Thorleif. On my way there, I saw the armco truck go out with what turned out to be tyres and posts to protect the scene until the armco could be replaced:

The trailer was left before the bridge with the right arrow lit. Cones and posts were laid out to keep traffic to the right, with a 50kph speed limit, and make-shift tyre walls were put in place to prevent anyone else ending up groing over the now very bent armco. Friends of the Ringbunny will be able to obtain further details.

As for the armco replacement, well, I just hope that they transfer the driver to the coronary care unit with a crash cart at the ready before they hand him the bill. 75m of triple-height armco, so 225m total, plus posts, closure, safety cars, etc, etc, for a total bill of ... €15,000!

When the track reopened, I asked Thorleif for a passenger lap. He said he needed to make a quick pitstop first, and handed me the keys.

'Hmmm. I have a CSL, I have the keys and the owner is not yet here ...'

Thorleif was taking it easy in the wet, but we still nearly got taken out by an Audi that was initially on the right side of the track on the approach to Flugplatz and then suddenly pulled across to the left as we came alongside.

With the rain still hammering down, I went to bum a cup of tea from Simon at Byrne-up Tours.

Photo taken a little later when I could stand there without getting soggy :-)

Another of their guests had managed to crash on the way to the Ring. Repairs were made:

Fun as my agricultural tyres are in the dry, I had no idea what their wet grip might be like, and wasn't terribly keen on finding out, so decided more passenger laps were the order of the day. I went out with Kurt in the Smoadster.

A few things needed to be moved, so I got to see the spacious luggage capacity:

The laps were good ones, with one minor moment at Bastard Bend where Kurt put the power down a little too quickly. You wouldn't think a Smart had enough power to make that previous sentence make sense, but the track was very slippery. The back came out, but Kurt corrected smoothly and all was well.

While we are out, we see that a Ringer has crashed at the S-bend between Kallenhard and Miss-Hit-Miss. The car is damaged front and rear, but the Ringer concerned looks fine and the safety car is already there, so we don't stop. (I won't identify the Ringer unless they say it's ok.)

Ross doesn't miss much, despite being hundreds of miles away. I'd been winding him up the two previous weekends about how great the weather was and how he really should be there. He took the opportunity this weekend to get his revenge:

It turned out that Stelvio had texted him a weather report so he would know he wasn't missing much this weekend.

Kurt had asked me if I'd be interested in a RingTaxi lap if there was a cancellation. I said yes, so we went to put our names down on the waiting list. Kurt doesn't have a mobile, so they put his name and my mobile.

About an hour later, I got a call. "We have a cancellation, but if you want it, you must come right now." I assured him I'd be right there and went dashing off round the car-park to find Kurt. No sign of Kurt or his car, and of course no way to call him. I didn't want to lose the chance, so offered the two other seats to the Byrne-up guys. Two of them jumped at it, Simon and Gary, and we hurried over.

It turned out the hurry was not to get into the car, but to sign up and pay - the slot was for 25 mins later. And I'd just given away Kurt's place. Ooops.

Twenty minutes later, Kurt pulls into the car-park. I decide I'd better go straight over and confess.

Much as I want the ride, I decide it isn't fair that it was Kurt's idea and he loses out, so I suggest to him that we toss for it. He calls heads. I flip. He wins. Hmmm. Well, if he flipped for it, the bikers should too. Gary calls. I flip. He loses. Ok! I suggest he and Simon flip for the final place, but Gary nobly says Simon can have the place.

While we are waiting, we're chatting to the BMW guys. I confirmed a few Taxi facts. The tyres are changed after 10 laps. The brakes are changed after 20 laps, and the car gets a full inspection at the same time (this is the reason it can only do 20 laps a day). We also confirmed that the running costs (excluding the cost of the car itself) are €300-400 a lap, so after the €160 charge it runs at a considerable loss, but of course this is made up for by the huge PR value.

At the end of the season, the cars are sent to the BMW lab for analysis, and then are crushed. I suggested that they give one to me as a garden ornament if I promised not to drive it, but sadly they did not agree to this.

The RingTaxi team know all about Ringers, I guess through Sabine, and it is agreed that our lap will be a no-holds-barred one. In the end, we are switched from 19th lap to 20th (and final one of the day). The advantage of this is that the tyres do not need to be saved for future laps. :-)

The driver is Dirk Haeker. As we are sitting in the car, the organiser tells Dirk 'Ringers club - no limits'. Dirk smiles and nods.

The lap is spectacular. At Hohenrain, he stuck the tail out well past 45 degrees. We laughed and applauded, and I guess that assured him that no limits really did mean no limits, so he did the same thing at pretty much every bend. On some bends, the car was quite literally at an 80-degree angle to the track. We spent more time facing the armco than facing the track - no exaggeration.

However, good as he was, there comes a time when the keys must be handed over to a new RingTaxi driver ...

JW arrived, and I went out for a couple of paxlaps in the SquealMobile. They were also good laps. On the final straight, we saw blue 911S behind us which I had spotted on the track earlier being driven extremely fast in the wet. I decided that anyone who could drive an elderly 911 at those speeds in those conditions must be a good driver, so JW kindly stopped at the exit so that I could flag down the 911 and ask for a ride.

The driver agreed, and I introduced myself as I sat in the passenger seat: 'Hi, I'm Ben'. He replied: 'I know, I read your reports. I'm Christer.' He turned out to be one of the Swedish Porsche instructors.

I did two laps with him, which will go down as among my all-time favourite paxlaps. This is a 35-year-old car with a reputation for unforgiving handling, absolutely standard except for Cup tyres, being driven very quickly round a slippery Ring by a driver who really knows what he is doing. It's fabulous to see a 911 of this age being driven in the manner intended, and it's great to experience that level of driver skill. Lovely. :-)

Photo: JW of www.ringbunny.nl

Kurt and I spent the remaining part of the day swapping paxlaps. We were literally doing two laps in one car, getting straight into the other one and doing two laps in that - to the amusement of some of those watching in the car-park.

Photo: JW of www.ringbunny.nl

The track was getting drier every lap, but on one 944 lap we came into Miss-Hit-Miss to see a massive amount of dirt running the full width of the track, a crashed BMW on the inside and the driver running back up the track to warn traffic and already on the phone as he ran. His passenger was also out of the car, and both looked ok, so as the driver was already on his way to warn people, I didn't stop.

We figured the track would close for this, both to clear up the dirt and to lift out the BMW. But then I got to thinking. First, the safety car would have to reach the scene. Then they'd have to phone back to the office, and finally they'd have to close the track. Maybe we could just make it round for another lap before the closure.

I upped the speed a bit, and instead of knocking it into neutral down Dottinger-Hohe as I usually do, I kept my foot down. No red light, so out we went again.

By the time we'd done the last lap of the day, I found a text from Karl:

(If you're confused by the time-stamps, I only change my watch - the Treo and Vaio remain on UK time)

He never did turn up, so we'll have to find out whether Claire or the barmaid buried the body.

I got a big hug and kiss from Sabine on arrival at the Pistenklause, which was a nice way to end the day. Dinner was very quiet, with just myself, Kurt and Thorleif there.

Thorleif had a nice gadget, coincidentally one Birgit & I had been trying to find an excuse to buy: the Archos 480. Decent-sized screen, 80Mb hard drive, video-in port and CF card slot. Yummy!

Kurt also made a friend of his pose for a photo with the remains of his car, now part of the Pistenklause decor:

I went for a walk after dinner, down to the track. I like it there at night. And so to my B&B, with the again nostalgic experience of writing the day's trip report sitting up in bed.

Sunday

Sunday's weather was a rather dramatic improvement. Blazing sun, and not a grey cloud in sight. Unfortunately, August + Sunday + Sun = masses of cars & bikes there:

I had previously wondered whether the Zakspeed estate car ever moved from its position in the car-park. Apparently it does, as this weekend it had become a minibus:

There were more 944s that you could shake a stick at. Well, ok, I guess you could have shaken a stick at all of them, but it would have taken a while. Personally, there have been a few times when I've wanted to shake a stick at one in paricular, but I've otherwise never understood the origin of this saying. Anyway, here's an illustrative example:

My own 944 was behaving pretty well, but did have a couple of electrical gremlins. First, the left-front indicator stopped working. I went to Ring Racing to see if they had a bulb, but when Uwe looked it turned out to be just a plug had worked loose, so he pushed it back on and that was sorted.

Hmm - could be about time for her annual wash, too

The other was that the driver's window stopped working, something that happened once before but then immediately cured itself. This time it didn't want to lower at all. Uwe checked the switch and fuse (in that order, as the switch is apparently usually the culprit and is actually easier to check than the fuse) but it turned out to be the motor. I shall see if I can pick one up.

In the meantime, the marshalls are very helpful at inserting the card when proferred through the partly-open door.

Filling up with petrol, I got an encouraging update on the M3 driver. He was apparently sitting up and demanding to be discharged. I was told this was the restoration of his normal personality. :-)

The guy who gave me the update reappeared a minute later to say he'd left his wallet at the guesthouse and could I pay for his fuel? He then couldn't find me in the car-park to repay me, so a friend did it on his behalf just before he spotted me, so I almost got paid twice ...

Karl turned up to say that he'd been following a 968 up Kesselchen when something blew and a huge amount of coolant was dropped just before Klostertal. The 968 kept going, at a vastly reduced speed, and then we heard that several bikes went down there.

We went to find the 968 driver, but he had gone, though we could see where he had been parked:

The closure was a long one, not helped by the fact that a BMW had crashed at Pflanzgarten III at about the same time. There were conflicting reports of it being a BMW 850 and a 3-series, possibly because it was an 850 that was now the same size as a 3-series, but Karl said that everyone looked to be ok.

The car-park quickly filled up:

I reckon if you picked up all the pieces found around the Ring, you could probably build several complete vehicles:

Kurt had spotted this 115bhp Smart:

With full cage:

He was hoping to get a paxlap in it, but I don't think he made it with all the closures. Kurt also suggested I photograph any ex-Keithmobiles I spotted, just to wind up Keith. I thought it was cruel, but his logic was unassailable, so here's one just for you, Keith:

We gradually started seeing cars & bikes emerging from the track, obviously ones that had been at the scenes of the two accidents. Finally the police emerged, followed by a recovery truck with three bikes, and the track was re-opened after a total closure of around 90 minutes.

By the time the track re-opened, it was utter madness out there. Gazillions of people with no idea where the track went and no mirrors. I had to sit behind blind bikers for bend after bend before they finally noticed me or there came a safe opportunity to pass.

But a dry track, at least, so there was some fun to be had. I also got some dry laps with Thorleif. Much as BMW styling may fail to stir the soul, there is no denying the impressiveness of the CSL. This is a car with plenty of power and excellent handling which can also be used as a family touring car.

I was a bit less impressed by the harness arrangements, and decided to use the seat-belt instead. Thorleif plans to install a half-cage, which will make for a safer setup, hopefully with race seats to complete the package.

Speaking of harnesses, the M3 that crashed on Saturday was apparently fitted with one of these interesting little devices:

It's a ratchet and cam unit that locks the lap-belt tight. Although nowhere near as good as a harness, it apparently held both driver and passenger securely whilst the car was upside-down. Watch this space for details.

Predictably, it wasn't long until the next closure. The car-park was resembling a repair workshop. These Italian bikers were doing something to a can, and I guess being Italian decided to stop and pose when they saw me taking the pic:

These guys tried and failed to bump-start the car, so just kept pushing to reach another car at the top of the car-park where they could give it a jump-start. I did give them a hand with the uphill bit after taking the pic.

I did another couple of laps before, yep ...

Next lap out, the 944 started making noises suspiciously similar to a CV joint on the way out, so I decided to call it a day. A CV joint is pretty much a consumable at the Ring, so if that's what it is, then I guess that just has to be factored into the normal running costs just like tyres and brakes.

Not that I have any tyre running costs at the moment. Those Eagle Supermarket tyres may not have much grip, but they also just do not wear! I may have discovered the secret to cheaper Ringing ...

I figured on a last couple of paxlaps before leaving, but this was not to be. I had just got in the car with Thorleif when, you guessed it, the announcement of another closure.

It was likely to last longer than the half-hour I had left, so I said my goodbyes and dropped the 944 back to Ring Racing. Then an easy run back to the airport. I checked in, then went to pay a little visit to the Hertz desk.

There was no manager there, and the woman at the desk didn't seem at all surprised to hear that a customer had been abandoned with no car, no staff and no way of reaching anyone. "Yes, it happens often." Er, thanks.

I think it is Avis who had the slogan 'We try harder'. Seems the Hertz slogan should be 'We just don't bother'. I left a note for her manager with my booking reference number and email address, so we shall see what Hertz have to say for themselves.

And that was the weekend. Rather crashy, very crowded, Ring weather but still managing to have a good time. One month to go before my next trip, and possibly my final trip of the year.